PhD defence I.C. (Ines) Lucieer

Below is a brief summary of the dissertation:

Almost all parents sometimes lie to their children. They say the teacher will be upset if their child is late, that an off-key song sounds wonderful, or that they still have work to do when they want some rest. At the same time, many parents disapprove of lying and teach their children that lying is wrong. Previous research links parental lying to poorer parent-child relationships and more lying by children. Yet little was known about how often parents lie, what kinds of lies they tell, and whether what they think, do, and teach match. I studied this in four studies with hundreds of Dutch and American parents.

Nine out of ten parents sometimes lie, but fewer than one in twenty say they do so often. Lying is also not one thing: parents lie to make their child feel good, to steer behavior, or for their own benefit, and these differ in how often they occur. So it matters not only whether parents lie, but also how often and which lies.

I was also the first to study, within the same parent, whether what parents think, do, and teach about lying lines up. I found inconsistencies in every parent, and almost all parents recognized them in themselves.

These inconsistencies may reflect how complex parenting is. Parents value honesty, but they also want to protect their child, guide behavior, or resolve a difficult situation, and they constantly balance these goals. What this means for children is a question for future research.