Parenting raises questions, that's nothing new. However, we do see more scientists from Erasmus School of Social and Behavioural Sciences speak about this topic in the media. What questions do they get the most? How has that changed over the years? And how does scientific knowledge best reach parents and professionals? Esther Rozendaal, Eveline Crone, Ruth Van der Hallen, Rianne Kok and Frank van der Horst share their experiences with us. It turns out: children have not fundamentally changed but parents and society have.
The classics
The questions that get asked the most? These are often the recognisable, more common topics. 'The basic questions keep coming up in the media', says Rianne Kok, researcher in pedagogy. 'I once gave an interview about Sinterklaas and lying. That interview resurfaces every two years. Apparently, that theme is always interesting.'
The comeback
According to the researchers, it is logical that parenting questions keep coming back. After all, there will always be new parents. The book The Adolescent Brain, by Professor of Developmental Neuroscience in Society Eveline Crone, was first published in 2008, which is already 17 years ago. 'The questions from this book come up again and again. That's because there are always new generations of parents. And they only actively look for information when they have to deal with adolescents themselves. Then those questions become topical again, even though they have often not changed in terms of content', she says.
And the new dilemmas
There are also more complex questions that come up, says Clinical Psychology researcher and psychologist Ruth Van der Hallen: 'I often get questions about how to talk to your child about more difficult topics. For example, about grandpa's euthanasia or about what currently happening in Gaza. We are confronted with major events and parents want to know how they can discuss them with their children. It's not just about what you say, but also about how you listen and create space.'
Parenting advice in the media: new wine in old bottles?
'Many parenting questions are actually the same as they used to be', says Esther Rozendaal, Professor Digital Resilience. 'Only the topic changes with time. Where we used to worry about comic books or television commercials, we now worry about social media and online games.'
'Parenting is about navigating your children through the complex world. The world changes, the children don't change', says Frank van der Horst, researcher in pedagogy and also working as a psychotherapist in specialist mental health care. 'But parents do change and so do the views they have about what they want to teach children. And also the social norms of what we expect from children. Children nowadays have to be very independent and autonomous, but at the same time we find them bold and outspoken. That's an interesting phenomenon.'
The world is becoming more complex and so is parenting
However, not everyone fully agrees. Eveline Crone does see changes in the nature of the questions: 'Children nowadays grow up with many more stimuli. Boredom is almost non-existent. They are very adaptive, but that also makes parenting and the issues around it more complex.' Think, for example, of the fact that you used to watch TV and now often have no insight into what your child is watching or doing online. Esther Rozendaal: 'And so as a caretaker you also have to be engaged in a different way.'
Parents have more questions, but also more sources
At the same time, the way parents seek information has changed. 'You no longer have to wait for an appointment at the Center for Youth and Family (CJG)', says Rianne Kok. 'You just google it. But that also entails risks, because the quality of information online varies enormously.'
Then there is the effect of social media. 'In the past, disinformation spread more slowly', says Ruth Van der Hallen. 'But now, a single misleading video or article can go viral in no time. The commotion around the "Week van de Lentekriebels" is a good example of this.' The perfect pictures on social media can also cause a feeling of insecurity among parents. Maartje Luijk, Professor of Pedagogy, researches stress in parents. She emphasizes that "good enough" parenting is better than perfect parenting. Parenting is a process of trial and error. And that's a good thing, because this way "children get to know real life."
Bringing science closer to parents and professionals: the Rotterdam "signature"
Some questions from parents can be answered very well from science. But how do you reach all parents? Also the parents who don't read newspapers or news websites? The researchers are actively committed to this. They therefore call the connection with professional practice, the "signature" of Erasmus University in their work. Rianne Kok, for example, offers training sessions to neighbourhood teams in Rotterdam. 'We teach the teams how to better observe the interaction between parent and child, so that they can provide more targeted support. Sometimes that just means reassuring insecure parents about what’s already going well.'
Eveline Crone also tries to reach target groups that are often forgotten. In addition to the university, she is also affiliated with Albeda mbo in Rotterdam. 'Why do I mainly get questions from vwo or havo schools? Young people in mbo have to deal with the same things. We need to move much more deliberately towards those groups.'
In doing so, the researchers actively seek collaboration with expertise centers and networks such as Mind Us, Mediawijsheid and the Trimbos Institute, which help translate scientific knowledge into understandable messages for people who work with children and young people. 'The great thing about these collaborations', says Esther Rozendaal, 'is that scientists from different disciplines are involved. This gives you a more complete picture and advice that is truly practical.'
Trust in guidelines or more in one's own abilities?
The government wants to help parents by providing guidelines on, for example, media education. Esther Rozendaal looks at it with interest: 'I'm involved, but I also wonder: there is no "one-size-fits-all" approach, is there?' It is precisely in the sea of opinions that parents seem to be looking for something to hold on to. A clear source, an "authority" that says: if you do it this way, you're doing good.
That is an illusion, the researchers emphasize. They themselves say they prefer not to give "real" parenting advice, but to give insight. 'It is important to gain insight into your child's development, how varied it is', says Rianne Kok. 'That helps to know whether you should do something about it and whether you should worry. Many things are part of normal development at certain phases.' Eveline Crone concludes: 'When I write books, I don't want to give parenting advice. By explaining things and creating understanding, parents can take that step themselves, after all, they know their child best.'
Tips for parents and caretakers:
- 'Looking for reliable information? Read a good book.'
- 'Show real interest in your child. Be emphatic and don't judge too quickly. That's where everything starts.'
- 'Remember: parenting does not have to be perfect and also focus on what is already going well.'
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More science stories? Have a look at our online magazine Erasmus Extra.
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